Before criticizing a man, walk a mile in his shoes

Appreciation is a beautiful feeling. It is a thing we enjoy the most. We all like people around us praising us and appreciating for our efforts. Don't we? But how many of us can boldly take in criticism? We often find it easier to find flaws in others, to point out their mistakes and tell them where they went wrong! But when the same words bounce back at us, then it becomes so difficult for us to digest.

As humans, on one hand we are advancing and touching new heights, on the other, we are losing the beautiful practice of appreciating others and encouraging them. Criticizing others has now become a part of our daily routine. It starts in the morning with a cup of tea, while we read the newspaper and criticize the Government for its policies and plans, to either think too much of the marginalised sections or to not think of them at all. We criticize our sportsmen for not winning tournaments or matches for us. We criticize our film actors for the kind of films they do. Yes, because finding mistakes is comparatively an easier task.

But then, I don't say that criticism on the whole is a bad thing. Often, criticizing others, work for them! They improve and get better in whatever they do. But before criticizing someone, it is very essential to walk a mile in their shoes. To know what all they have been through. What all circumstances made them so?

To walk in their shoes means to view life from their living conditions and to feel what it feels like to be that person. To experience the world from another person's perspective. It is then only we will realise if criticizing the person was a right thing.

Like, it is easy for the world to laugh at a person who is physically challenged, to mock him for his disabilities , to comment on his physical appearance. But it is when you step into his shoes, see the world through his eyes, keep yourself in his place, you realise of the humiliation they go through. How surviving each day becomes a challenge for them?

We often find it easier to find flaws in a weaker person. This because we might have never come in contact with such a person. And we could not develop empathy for them, to understand their hardships and sufferings. A person who has not experienced life closely, would never understand the situations of others.

Take for instance , a person who has never failed in life, has never gone through the pain that failure brings, would not be able to connect with a person who has freshly experienced failure. To him, the person might have failed due to lack of hard work or lack of belief in his dreams. But that is not all. There might be various situations that took away success from an honest and hard working person. To understand those situations, is to walk in his shoes. And this will be the time when your perspective towards him will change.

In most of the Indian families too, a husband expects his wife to look after him, his parents, his children, his relatives. He expects that his wife should finish off the work even before it is said! And when the husband is in a bad temper, the first thing he points out that his wife stays in the house idle for the whole day. But when the husband steps into his wife's shoes, then he gets that she is the only one who works even when her health is not fine, she works like a robot even when she doesn't will to do so. It is when the husband understands his wife, appreciates her work rather than finding flaws, respect for each other will develop.

When we step into someone's shoes we develop a feeling of understanding. We realise that, we are not the only ones who are striving towards happiness and peace. Others too wish for joys and harmony. And who knows, we might help them in that process! In today's era, we have developed the feelings of conflict and competition. But in this process we forget that others too are on the same boat. By developing the emotions of compassion and empathy towards them we might make the journey more enjoyable.

It is also seen that we judge people too early, we develop a perspective towards them without even knowing them properly. But once we get to know them, the situations they go through each day, then only we are in a position to form an opinion about them, judge them or even criticize them.

But, it is also of immense importance that criticism is not always meant to defame others or insult them. Criticism that benefits someone is known as constructive criticism. Without constructive criticism, the all round development of an individual stagnates. When we look at the Indian Government, we find it asking for feedback on its plans and policies, via online platform or media. This is because, it wants to involve common people in the process of policy formation. It wants to know what the public actually wants so that the government can work accordingly. Now it is up to the public to understand the complex task of policy formation. That in this task, how difficult it gets for the Government to incorporate all the sections of the society, to take care of the needs and requirements of all. When this balance gets created, the feeling of understanding between the Government and common people develops, then only the ideals of a vibrant democracy are held high.

But the line between criticism and constructive criticism is very thin. Some words might hit the wrong chords and give rise to conflicts. It is required to look at the other side of the coin too, understand someone's conditions too, develop the feelings of compassion and empathy. The need is to respect fellow beings where intentions won't be to defame others instead to help others grow as well. Then only, the humane feelings of love , care and affection would emerge as winners and this world would become a better place to live.